I’m Fine.

Whenever I use the word “Fine”, it’s typically because something is wrong but I’m not wanting to talk about it.

I think we have all experienced days where we feel like everything is going wrong, you didn’t want to get out of bed this morning, and the one thing you a dreading throughout the day is the small question of “how are you?” (or the more Australian version of “How you going?”). This is usually when I feel like I have seem like everything is OK, (which feels a little bit like wearing a mask), take a moment to control your voice, and say “Fine”.

I’ve just realised whilst writing this, that almost every time I say the word “Fine” back to that question… something is actually wrong but I’m not being honest about it. Now, that isn’t to say that it’s always something major or horrible… but I think it’s a little social lie that we accept or at least don’t question. I usually use the word to just avoid the conversation about what is really going on. Like I said before, sometimes it’s so trivial that I don’t want to get into it (ie, I haven’t had a coffee this morning and I’m wishing I did), but other times it could be anything.

I’ve had days where just answering people is tough, but I know that it’ll pass, and that something good is on it’s way. I think everyone has “down days”. I’m also trying to take the time to recognise when other people are doing this… and just giving a heartfelt “No really, is everything OK?”. I don’t know about you, but sometimes opening up to others (and checking on them) is a really awkward thing, but I really think it’s important.

Last week I thought someone was upset and when I checked on them, they laughed, and said they smelt something really awful and that was why their face was like that. At least I picked up that something wasn’t right.

I’m going to try and listen for the word “Fine” and think about why it’s being used (whether I’m saying it or someone else is).

But then again, sometimes people are just fine 🙂

What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

 

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2 thoughts on “I’m Fine.

  1. Gregoryno6 19/10/2016, 8:53 AM / 8:53 am

    ‘I’m fine’ or ‘Fine’ are extremely flexible in terms of their intonation. ‘I’m fine’ with a high-low intonation usually means what it says. ‘I’m FINE.’ with a distinct stop at the end means bugger off. Not necessarily that something is wrong, maybe the person just wants to be left alone.
    ‘Fine’ with the vowel extended – ‘Fiiine’ is a stronger warning. GTFO right away. Don’t hang around. Follow up questions such as ‘Are you sure? You seem a little…’ will aggravate the situation. Go, come back later. In this circumstance the person will often apologise for being short with you, at that point make a reply that vaguely inquires if there really is a problem. Take it forward from there.

    • Insanity540 19/10/2016, 9:37 AM / 9:37 am

      Ah true. I think that for me, I tend to say “I’m Good / Good / Great” when things are going well… and tend to favour “Fine” when something is amiss. I think you are right about pressing the issue and I’ve accidentally made it sound like I’d immediately double down on asking them … I think in reality I would gauge the situation in front of me and proceed based on body language / the situations etc.

      I think you are 100% right about noting it and coming back later. Thanks for commenting (as always)! Perhaps saving that image to talk about this has led me down a more negative path.

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