Great iPhone games to play on the toilet

“This is a guest post by Toby (@tosbourn). Toby is a developer based in London, when not pooping and playing games he can be found on Twitter @tosbourn and on his blog, http://tosbourn.com

Everybody poops! And unless you want to spend your pooping time reading the back of a shampoo bottle you will have had the good foresight to have taken your phone with you.

The problem with smartphones these days is that they rely so heavily on having the internet, which is way a quick twitter break isn’t always on the cards.

I thought I would write up my list of great iPhone games I have enjoyed playing on the loo before!

In order to make the list the games have to be;

  • Fun!
  • Playable in short bursts
  • Don’t need an internet connection for the majority of the gameplay.

With that in mind I have come up with six great games! I hope you enjoy and let us know in the comments if you have anything you would like to add.

 

Timberman

timberman

A great but incredibly annoying game, you are a wood chopper who cuts down one humongous tree. The gameplay is simple, press the left or right of the screen to cut down the tree whilst avoiding branches.

This is harder than it looks! Be warned you might want to flush your phone after a few failed attempts!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/timberman/id871809581?mt=8 (free)

 

Atoms

atoms

Atoms is a novel and fun game, you can play it online against friends or as I prefer to, against the computer at various difficulty settings.

You place atoms on a grid, once enough atoms occupy a square they explode, potentially starting off chain reactions.

A game can swing at the very last minute and is great for a quick break.

https://itunes.apple.com/app/atoms-ng/id525091191 (free)

 

Jump Car

jumpcar

Jump car’s premise is an incredibly simplistic one, you are a car and you need to jump up levels and avoid the other cars. It is one of those games that is easy to learn but almost impossible to master.

You will find yourself saying “just one more go” about 20 times before you actually call it a day.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/jump-car/id945550691?mt=8 (free)

 

Bitcoin Billionaire

bitcoinbillionaire

Bitcoin Billionaire is one of those games that shouldn’t be a game, there is basically no mechanic to it other than clicking, but boy is it addictive! The premise is that you are a bitcoin miner who uses the coins they have mined to make investments and buy things to allow you to make even more bitcoins.

It is perfect as a loo game because it is just so non-committal, I promise you though, you will find yourself spending way more time that you thought you would playing it.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/bitcoin-billionaire/id911117141?mt=8 (free)

Crossy Road

 

crossyroad

I have only recently started playing Crossy Road, think of it as a 3D Frogger. The controls are simple and the gameplay is immersive enough for short games.

There is a vast amount of characters to unlock, but it isn’t about the characters, it is about the short bursts of fun trying to make it across roads, railways and rivers!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/crossy-road-endless-arcade/id924373886?mt=8 (free)

 

Goblin Sword

goblinsword

This 2D platformer is one of the best I have played on the iPhone. You go around worlds collecting gems and power ups, beating the level and unlocking boss fights and various other levels.

The graphics have a nice retro feel to them and the levels are small enough that you can fire through one during your comfort break!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/goblin-sword/id905488045?mt=8 ($1.99)

 

 “If you would like to write a guest post for the blog, contact either @C_O_Awesome or @Insanity540 via twitter”

 

 

 

 

 

How To: stop iOS 7 from draining your battery

“This is from Gizmodo’s article, but I think a lot of people I know have iOS 7 now and would appreciate these tips”

Turn off parallax:

Have you noticed that since updating your background wallpaper seems to move behind your apps if you tilt your phone? that’s parallax. It’s nifty, but do you like it enough to warrant the extra juice it uses? Turn it off via Settings > General > Accessibility > Reduce Motion.

Turn off unneeded items (like bluetooth) quickly via Control Centre:

One of the big improvements from iOS 6 > 7 is the inclusion of the Control Centre (accessed by swiping up from the bottom of the screen). Here you can quickly turn Airplane mode, Wifi, Bluetooth, Do Not Disturb mode on and off as well as some other good things like screen brightness. Sure, Android users have had this forever… but now Apple has done it… better late then never. Also turn off AirDrop!

Turn off Location Services for apps that don’t need it

Sure some apps need location services (GPS) to function. Google Maps, Foursquare and Urbanspoon would be pretty useless without them – but does Facebook really need to fire up your GPS every time you use it? Change it via: Settings > Privacy > Location Services.

Turn off Background App updates

It’s a cool feature, but it also drains the battery. I personally like to tell my phone when to update apps so I can see when features are added. It might also access your cellular data; I prefer to let Wifi handle app updates (not certain if you can control that or not). Change via: Settings > iTunes & App Store (scroll down) > Updates under ‘Automatic Downloads’.

Turn off Background App Refresh

This is a personal preference call, how much multitasking do you want your phone to do? Personally there are only a few apps that I would like to be constantly up to date – but for the most part I would rather have them working only when I am using them. Change via: Settings > General > Background App Refresh.

Trim down your Push Notification list

Do you really really need to have so many push notifications? pick the ones you actually need and turn off the ones you don’t. Each item is something that has to be checked by your phone, which equals battery. Change via Settings > Notification Centre

Turn your email from Push to Fetch

Push notifications and tasks kill battery by forcing your phone to work. Fetch on the other hand switches it to checking on specific intervals. This might also help your sanity. Change via Settings > Mail, Contacts and Calender > Fetch New Data

Read the original article here

Battle of the Nerds

I see myself in this situation, especially having that tattoo. For once I feel Nokia actually stands out for something it’s good at: interrupting and looking relatively strong.