Joke: 3 Virgins

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but “Nescafe”. Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said:

“Good till the last drop”.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: “Benson & Hedges”. Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack:

“Extra Long. King Size”.

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words “British Adirways”. Mom took out her latest Harper’s Bazaar magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA. The ad said:

“Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”

Mom fainted…

Remember, remember November

I shall begin my little November rant with a brief explanation of the post title. It is taken from V for Vendetta, an awesome movie that I would highly recommend

“Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot… But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes and I know, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world.”

I felt like I haven’t contributed anything original on my blog in a little while so here we go.



Wow, I can’t believe that my little blog has received over 10,000 views since its creation on the 18th Feb 2008. I am totally stoked about this. Mind you I know that about 30% of those clicks will be from me mucking around trying to fix blogs or look up stuff I blogged about. But thanks to everyone that visits, and the very loyal few that continue to read my blog regularly. Please write comments or rate my posts as I enjoy the feedback

and FYI, to the 1-2 morons that post comments attacking me or my readers (spam), your IP addresses are logged everytime you comment. I know where you are from Mr. Canadian and you aren’t clever.


One thing I particularly enjoy doing during particular bouts of boredom is browse through uncyclopedia. It is a parody/humourous version of Wikipedia. I have added my own unique spin on the following articles; Red Ring of Death, Pool, BASEketball, Optimus Prime and even wrote some myself; Naboo and Insanity540.

The “Heroes” are stupid



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Ok, I like the show Heroes, but lately their plot has become strange and stupid. I know ratings are falling and producers are getting the axe because of it. In one of the latest episodes Peter Petrelli, who has the awesome ability of being able to copy other peoples abilities and use them, met his “dead” father. His father says there is nothing to fear, and offers him a hug. Now considering we are in a world where anyone can have any power, would you run up to your newly returned father and embrace him? Or would you be a little be suspicious? I know I would probably have used Peter’s invisibility to suss out what was happening in the Pinehurst installation first. But hey that’s just me. But you know what happens, Peter’s dad sucks all his abilities away from him, which he kinda deserves for being such a moron. We now know that Mr. Petrelli, Arthur, is the main bad guy in this “Villians” season of Heroes.

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The thing that really annoys me was S03E08 where the cool African future painter gets killed by Arthur with Hiro right next door, and then he walks out and gets attacked by Arthur. Seriously, lets assume you are Hiro with the ability to control time and space (the ability to freeze time, teleport, time travel). Someone you have been talking to is brutally killed (beheaded), what is your first instinct to do? FREEZE TIME! I would have instantly frozen time and found out who did it, not walk around like a moron and let someone attack me. I mean come on, Hiro has one of the best powers, but never uses freeze time!

If the writers keep heading in this stupid direction I’m going to stop watching the show.

Censoring Australian Internet (Aka “No Clean Feed”)


There is nothing more dangerous than a politician with a crazy idea. Take the current situation with the proposed Internet filter in Australia. You probably haven’t seen this reported on Channel Ten news, or Today Tonight but its been mentioned offhandedly in the press. Basically the situation is that Labour, specifically Senator Conroy, in all his wonderful intelligence and grace, has designed a filter for Australian internet. The intended aim: to prevent child pornography and online gambling. While this is a noble goal, I have no argument with that, it is the method in which the government is applying. They are trying to force all ISPs in the country to enact a two level filter of the internet with a blacklist of sites that cannot be accessed. So which sites are blacklisted? That’s not public information. Who decides which websites the Australian public can visit? An unaccountable group (ACMA) that can be influenced by political parties. Politicians have already stated that websites that focus on Euthanasia and anorexia would be worth of filtering. The ACMA will have to monitor the internet continuously as new websites are launched, an impossible task.

The proposed internet filter will not only censor your internet usage, but it will also slow down your internet connection (by an average of 30%, but up to 80% by a government report). Also studies have proven that the scheme they are going to enact will only mistakenly block 10,000 sites out of every million. Also the scheme will not stop p2p/torrent downloading, which is where the majority of this questionable content can be found.

It has been budgeted for $44 million. That isn’t that much money, is it?

The problem is that this is a completely misguided and unpopular attempt. When surveyed, it was discovered that 92% of the Australian is against it. What the government should be doing is: continuing to provide all citizens with free NetNanny like software censoring to protect children from accessing unwanted content, have a taskforce that is specifically focused on tracking down child pornography to actually combat the problem they are trying to fight, and leave the general population’s internet access alone.

National protests are occurring on the 13th December

I just found KevinRudd on twitter and asked him if he really wanted to enact a policy that was opposed by 92% of Australians. Remember, if they are unpopular, they won’t last in politics. It is interesting to note that he has added me back and is now following my twitter feed (the first person to follow me is the Prime Minister, I feel all important now lol).

Here is a good YouTube clip based on the No Clean Feed campaign & twitter;

And in closing, there was a post on Zgeek today about ironic it is that politicians were complaining about their internet access being censored, when this is exactly what they want to happen in all of Australia. Even though the story was 5 months old, I still left my thoughts on the issue;

The peoples republic of Australia does not care if you cannot access the internet, you will watch, read and think what we tell you to. We are accountable to no one, as we are elected by you, the people. We will do what is best for you. Kicking and screaming we shall bring order to Australia, and protect it’s childrens fragile little minds.

I for one will be protesting, and telling anyone that will listen how fucking retarded this situation is. People don’t even know about it. The nation wide protest is on 13th December.

It’s good to see that Labour are once again wasting the surplus the Liberal government saved during Howard’s leadership on very important schemes. I hope that when the money runs out, and our country falls into recession with the rest of the world, people look back at what they spent it on, who was responsible, and lynch them all from the top of parliament house.

People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.” (V)”

And a very clever response by one of the Zgeek community;

“Please don’t vote for the Labor party, for they are monumental tools.” – dwarfthrower, 2007.”

Homeless people and Lost


Catching the train home from work late the other night I was both fortunate and unfortunate enough to encounter a homeless woman. It was fortunate because without her being on the platform when she was, the train would not have re-opened its doors and I would have missed by train. It was unfortunate because I got within 10m of her and was immediately hit with “hobo” smell. That wall of stench of the unbathed. It occurred to me, once clear of devastation zone, that in all probability that the people you see on Lost would all smell like that, reeking to high heaven.

Unit inspection, giggity

I’m be moving out of my place soon and the real estate agent is bringing some people around to inspect our unit today. We all cleaned the place and it is looking great. I’m kinda sad about leaving though because it is so close to the city and cuts down on my travel time heaps. I guess I’ll be saving more money living back at home. The whole giggity thing was because I posted the following as my facebook status:

“is cleaning his unit for its inspections tomorrow”

And my friends laughed and pointed out the slightly obscure sexual reference.

Guitar Hero: World Tour

Being a big Guitar Hero fan, I went out and purchased (invested $288) the complete band set of World Tour. I love playing the drums as they require a bit of coordination and skill to pull off. It is said that if you can play them on hard/expert that you can actually play the drums, lol. I have found that the trick to playing them is to remember that drumming is about keeping a beat/rhythm, so concentrating on that is key. If you watch the “gems” flying at you, you tend to start playing to the words/guitar side of the song. Personally I love being able to play guitar, drums, and sing to The Eagle’s “Hotel California” or try my best to keep up to System of a Down’s “BYOB”.

Mr. Chef & Cooking

One thing I really enjoy doing is cooking. Albeit my style leans towards the more unhealthy side of cooking, but you know what they say; “never trust a skinny chef”. I have a few dishes that I like to make, but I consider my Boscaiola pasta one of my signature dishes. I made a massive batch of it the other day in anticipation for a few back-to-back midnight shifts at work. Its easy to reheat the pasta for dinner. The pasta itself is best freshly cooked because it is a creamy sauce, which really doesn’t handle microwave reheating well.

Anyway, I had it at work last night, and one of my colleagues said it smelt good and offered to swap some of his sister’s asian cooking with some of my pasta. We swapped (and ate far too much of both) and one of my other colleagues asked me to give him the recipe for it, so I put my Boscaiola pasta recipe up on a blog post. I may stick up some of my other creations under the topic of cooking.

Personal Feedback

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was unsuccessful in getting in med school this year, and that I was applying to get some feedback from the university. They contacted me the other day, after receiving my letter, and said that they would setup a meeting with one of the academics and they would go over the feedback personally with me. This will occur on the 9th of Decemeber, so watch this space for news.

[Update: First Blogroll]

This post was commented on by Luli, and she added my blog to her list of Australian writers. Woo! First time my blog has been featured somewhere.


Boscaiola Pasta Recipe

“Due to popular demand (of one person, Dan.), I am putting up my recipe for Boscaiola pasta.” – Ben

[Serves ~3-4]

1-2 Chicken Breast Fillets
250g Bacon
250g Mushrooms
1 Large Onion
2-3 Cloves of Garlic
1 container of Cream (~300ml or whatever the small one is)
1 teaspoon of corn flower
1 large family pack of veal tortellini (personal preference)
Parmesan cheese
Salt & Pepper

1) Cut up chicken breasts until smallish cubes (mouth sized) and cook then set aside in a bowl.
2) Boil a big pot of water for the pasta. Once boiling, add pasta (should take about 6-8 min to cook).
3) Cook diced onion, garlic until clear, then add mushrooms and bacon. Medium-High heat throughout.
4) Add cooked chicken back into the pan, add cream, stir. Season with salt and pepper.
5) In a separate small cup, mix 1-2 teaspoons of cornflower with 2-4 teaspoons of cold water. Stir until mixed (will settle if left unmixed for long).
6) Reduce heat, stir in corn flower mix, then bring back to boil, stirring. Sauce will become thicker.
7) Add some Parmesan cheese to the sauce, just enough to help thicken the sauce a bit more. (not so much that it becomes a cheese sauce).
8) Cooked pasta + Sauce = Yum.

I’ll add some pictures of it later when I cook it next.

Adjust amount of bacon/mushroom/cream to taste.

Monty Python Argument Skit

A man walks into an office.

Man: Good morning, I’d like to have an argument, please.

Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before?

Man: No, this is my first time.

Receptionist: I see, well we’ll see who’s free at the

Mr. Bakely’s free, but he’s a little bit concilliatory. No. Try
Mr. Barnhart, room 12.

Man: Thank you.

He enters room 12.


Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that…


Man: What?



M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!

A: OH! Oh! I’m sorry! This is abuse!

M: Oh! Oh I see!

A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.

M: Oh…Sorry…

A: Not at all!

A: (under his breath) stupid git.

The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a

Man: Is this the right room for an argument?

Other Man:(pause) I’ve told you once.

Man: No you haven’t!

Other Man: Yes I have.

M: When?

O: Just now.

M: No you didn’t!

O: Yes I did!

M: You didn’t!

O: I did!

M: You didn’t!

O: I’m telling you, I did!

M: You didn’t!

O: (breaking into the developing argument) Oh I’m sorry, is this
a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five

O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.

Anyway, I did.

M: You most certainly did not!

O: Now let’s get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely
told you!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did! (very fast)

M: Oh no you didn’t!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN’T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN’T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: No you DIDN’T!

O: Oh yes I did!

M: Oh look, this isn’t an argument!


O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn’t!


M: It’s just contradiction!

O: No it isn’t!

M: It IS!

O: It is NOT!

M: You just contradicted me!

O: No I didn’t!

M: You DID!

O: No no no!

M: You did just then!

O: Nonsense!

M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!


O: No it isn’t!

M: Yes it is!


I came here for a good argument!

O: AH, no you didn’t, you came here for an *argument*!

M: An argument isn’t just contradiction.

O: Well! it CAN be!

M: No it can’t!

An argument is a connected series of statement intended to
establish a proposition.

O: No it isn’t!

M: Yes it is! ’tisn’t just contradiction.

O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary

M: Yes but it isn’t just saying “no it isn’t”.

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn’t!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it isn’t!

O: Yes it is!

M: No it ISN’T! Argument is an intellectual process.

Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the
other person says.

O: It is NOT!

M: It is!

O: Not at all!

M: It is!

>DING!< The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.

O: Thank you, that’s it.

M: (stunned) What?

O: That’s it. Good morning.

M: But I was just getting interested!

O: I’m sorry, the five minutes is up.

M: That was never five minutes!!

O: I’m afraid it was.

M: (leading on) No it wasn’t…..


O: (dirty look) I’m sorry, I’m not allowed to argue any


O: If you want me to go on arguing, you’ll have to pay for
another five minutes.

M: But that was never five minutes just now!

(pause… the Other Man raises his eyebrows)

Oh Come on!

Oh this is…

This is ridiculous!

O: I told you…

I told you, I’m not allowed to argue unless you PAY!

M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.)

There you are.

O: Thank you.

M: (clears throat) Well…

O: Well WHAT?

M: That was never five minutes just now.

O: I told you, I’m not allowed to argue unless you’ve paid!

M: Well I just paid!

O: No you didn’t!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn’t!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn’t!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn’t!

M: I DID!!!

O: YOU didn’t!

M: (unable to talk straight he’s so mad) I don’t want to argue
about it!

O: Well I’m very sorry but you didn’t pay!

M: Ah HAH!! Well if I didn’t pay, why are you arguing???


O: (pause) No you haven’t!

M: Yes I have!

If you’re arguing, I must have paid.

O: Not necessarily.

I *could* be arguing in my spare time.