Now I have already done a post on a similar theme, the ode to the nice guy, but this was a very interesting read about “Love in the time of Darwinism“. An interesting look at this author’s opinion why the modern dating scene is in shambles and some pretty heavy truths about it.
I have taken some quotes out of the main article to lure you into reading the entire piece.
“Too many single young males (SYMs) were lingering in a hormonal limbo between adolescence and adulthood, shunning marriage and children, and whiling away their leisure hours with South Park reruns, marathon sessions of World of Warcraft, and Maxim lists of the ten best movie fart scenes.”
A generation of men, raised by women. Here we get into a theme best described in Fight Club, “We’re a generation men, raised by women, and I’m thinking…is a another women really the answer?”.
“…dump all those lessons from their over-feminized childhood and adolescence [referring to being the nice guy]. They will join what the Boston Globe has called the “Menaissance.” And they will buy titles like The Alphabet of Manliness (K is for Knockers, Q is for Quickies), The Retrosexual Manual, Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants, and actor Jim Belushi’s recent Real Men Don’t Apologize.”
The joke is, that I’m actually tempted into reading these books.
“Never before have men wooed women who are, at least theoretically, their equals—socially, professionally, and sexually. “
“What happened to all the nice guys?” His answer: “You did. You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.”
amen. Try being on the receiving end of the “just friends” line and tell me it doesn’t feel like a kick in the teeth.
“To this day, male-bashing is the lingua franca of situation comedies and advertising: take the dimwitted television dads from Homer Simpson to Ray Romano to Tim Allen, or the guy who starts a cooking fire to be put out by his multitasking wife, who is already ordering takeout.”
Take five seconds to think about how men are portrayed in modern media. Watch the top 10 comedies and you’ll see the above is pretty accurate.
The solution to the confusion in the modern dating scene is to shun away from being the nice guy.
“desensitizing the AFC to rejection and, alas, building up his jerk quotient. While teaching to project confidence and sexual energy. “To become the bad ass, the jerk, to foster desire by being unobtainable.
“Remember those women who want a guy who will open the car door for them? They may be lucky if they find one willing to add “please” to “Pass the ketchup.” Women complain that instead of calling to ask them out, or even make plans for a date, men simply text, “Heading downtown. Where r u?” as they walk to the subway. That may be deliberate. “There is no longer any reason to answer the phone when a woman calls you or return her call when she leaves you a message,” insists one dating pro at World of Seduction. “What should you do? Text message, of course.” Text messages, he argues, deflect unnecessary personal involvement and keep women on edge. Game goes even further, actually encouraging men to “neg” their “target” women—that is, to undermine their confidence subtly by ignoring or mildly insulting them. The hotter the woman, the more essential it is to neg her.”
Well I thought it was interesting to read at least.